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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27287791">Trick or Death</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/celedan/pseuds/celedan'>celedan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Torchwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alien Influence, Alien Technology, Banter, F/M, Flirting, Fun, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Kind of Role Play, M/M, halloween fic, rating for swearing, silliness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:34:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,746</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27287791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/celedan/pseuds/celedan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As if the Rift didn't throw enough shit at team Torchwood during the rest of the year, tonight, the night of Halloween, an old acquaintance of Jack's comes to Cardiff, pranking the whole team. They get affected by an alien device that slowly starts to let them adopt the characteristics of the costumes they wear tonight while, at the same time, they have to stop what is happening from taking over all of Cardiff downtown.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Trick or Death</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've never actually done a Halloween story before. But since I failed to contribute to Kinktober this year, I at least wanted to do something like this, and just let them have a bit of silly fun... Well, I had fun writing it; not sure about the team having fun apart from Jack^^. But I hope you have as much fun reading.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nearing the end of October – nearing </span>
  <span>
    <span>Halloween</span>
  </span>
  <span> of all days! –, the Rift was suspiciously quiet. It was understandable that therefore, the whole Torchwood team was slightly on edge as they waited for the nasty, practically inevitable surprise which was practically </span>
  <span>
    <em>bound</em>
  </span>
  <span> to happen on these kind of days. In mystery shows on TV, it did </span>
  <span>
    <em>every</em>
  </span>
  <span> time according to Owen's boundless wisdom, and what was their lives with Torchwood other than a freaky mystery show?</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>Did you ever notice,” Owen therefore asked one afternoon when Halloween was drawing closer rapidly, “that, despite the shit the Rift throws at us all year long, nothing overly exciting happens on Halloween itself unlike in all the mystery shows on TV?”</span></p>
<p>The whole team groaned at that, and Owen looked at them in tetchy confusion.</p>
<p>“<span>What?!”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Famous last words, doctor Harper, famous last words,” Ianto moaned in exasperation, and, shaking his head, turned away to get rid of the empty tray of coffee mugs.</span></p>
<p>Owen scoffed at that. “Don't tell me you're superstitious, Jones.”</p>
<p>Ianto threw him another exasperated look back over his shoulder. “With the Rift, you have to be, don't you think?”</p>
<p>“<span>Nah.” Owen waved his hand dismissively, and now rose, too, to follow the team out of the boardroom. “We'll have a quiet Halloween, you'll see. This </span><span><em>isn't</em></span><span> TV after all.” A slow smirk spread over his features. “Would suit me pretty well actually.”</span></p>
<p>Jack suddenly materialised next to him, and threw an arm around the smaller man's shoulders. The Captain waggled his eyebrows. “Plans?”</p>
<p>Owen shrugged. “Yeah. There's this chick I met. She invited me to a party.”</p>
<p>Jack snickered at that, and excitedly tightened his grip around Owen's shoulders. “Tell me which costume you'll wear.”</p>
<p>“<span>As if I'd tell </span><span><em>you</em></span><span> that, Harkness,” Owen snorted.</span></p>
<p>“<span>I'll tell you what I plan to wear in exchange,” Jack countered, mock-wounded.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Once more, Owen couldn't suppress scoffing. “</span>
  <span>
    <em>You</em>
  </span>
  <span> plan to dress up?!”</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>Sure. Why're you so surprised?”</span></p>
<p>Owen couldn't hold in another snort. “You just want to get up to kinky sex-games with Jones.”</p>
<p>He didn't even have to look, he knew that a bright, self-satisfied grin almost split Jack's face that confirmed his suspicions, and Ianto was probably blushing furiously somewhere behind them.</p>
<p>“<span>He lost a bet, and now has to dress up,” Jack explained gleefully. Not that Owen wanted to know that much, but he was still trapped in Jack's grasp with no chance of an easy escape. “We'll surprise each other with our costumes, and...”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Way too much information, Harkness!” he hastily snapped, and finally managed to forcibly remove Jack's arm from around his shoulders.</span></p>
<p>He pulled a face when he jogged away from his boss whose booming laugh followed him all the way back into the main part of the Hub.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jack loved these kind of bets; the ones that had no real winner or loser, where both parties benefited from instead.</p>
<p>Fortunately, he had found a kindred spirit in Ianto who was open to the little playful bets and games, and was actually the one who came up with half of them – even if the younger man was grumbling and grouching at the moment about having to dress up. He'd eventually stop his complaining as soon as the fun started between them, Jack was very sure about that.</p>
<p>“<span>Why couldn't I have been Bond?” Ianto asked for the numerous time now.</span></p>
<p>Jack had to hold back a snicker. “Because then you wouldn't have had to dress up at all, Mr. Jones,” Jack called back down the hatch to his room where Ianto was hiding in the bathroom. “Suit, gun, and clever gadgets are already part of your everyday work outfit, and who needs a hot woman if he can have me instead.”</p>
<p>“<span>Yeah, </span><span><em>not</em></span><span> having to dress up would have been the point, smart ass,” Ianto replied testily, but finally emerged from Jack's quarters.</span></p>
<p>The Captain couldn't hold back an appreciative whistle when he saw his lover in his chosen costume for the first time.</p>
<p>“<span>Mr Jones!” he exclaimed in delight, and sauntered up to Ianto. Eagerly, he placed his hands onto Ianto's hips, and pulled them flush together.</span></p>
<p>Hungrily, Jack let his eyes rake over Ianto's body, taking it all in eagerly. Apart from putting his foot down at his lover's idea of dressing up as Bond, Jack had given him free rein in his choice of costume. But he'd never, not in a million years, have imagined that Ianto would dress up in Jack's old RAF dress uniform!</p>
<p>Oh, he looked so good in it that Jack's mouth started watering. The young Welshman wore the uniform equally as dashing as Jack had back in the day. Even better since now a lot of fun could be had if Jack wasn't the one wearing it in an official function.</p>
<p>He grinned gleefully.</p>
<p>Let the games begin!</p>
<p>“<span>You're not looking half bad yourself,” Ianto mumbled, and almost shyly started playing with the flashy clasp of Jack's red cape. Gulping around the sudden lump in his throat, he miserably failed not ogling Jack's tights-clad legs that were encased in black boots below the knees. </span></p>
<p>Jack grinned at him rakishly. “I know. I'm a dashing Prince Charming, aren't I.”</p>
<p>“<span>Hush,” Ianto grumbled, and finally tore his gaze away from Jack's costume. </span></p>
<p>“<span>What are your plans for th...”</span></p>
<p>The loud, persistent noise of the Rift alarm suddenly blared through the Hub.</p>
<p>Ianto groaned at that while Jack let out a string of curses.</p>
<p>“<span>Looks like that's our plan for the evening,” he pouted while he untied the fake sword strapped to his hip, and instead attached his holster and the Webley to his belt which, in Ianto's opinion, looked quite ridiculous combined with the fairytale-like, flashy Prince Charming outfit.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Don't tell me you plan on chasing aliens dressed like </span><span><em>that</em></span><span>.” Ianto then cocked a suspicious eyebrow at his boss's actions.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Why not?” Jack shrugged. “It's Halloween. Everybody's in costume out in the streets.”</span></p>
<p>Ianto snorted and turned on his heel back to the hatch in the floor.</p>
<p>“<span>Where are you going?”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Changing.”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Oh no, you don't!” Jack cried, and dashed forward to grasp Ianto's elbow before the younger man had the chance to set even one foot on the rungs of the ladder. </span></p>
<p>“<span>But Jack!”</span></p>
<p>Wide, horrified eyes stared at the immortal, but Jack shook his head adamantly while he firmly started steering Ianto out of his office.</p>
<p>“<span>No time. And anyway, didn't you listen? People are all dressed up anyway. You won't draw any attention.”</span></p>
<p>“<span>I don't care if people are dressed up, </span><span><em>I</em></span><span> never planned to join them! This was supposed to be a totally private matter,” Ianto whined, but no amount of feeble protests or struggling against Jack shoving him into the direction of the underground garage was of any use.</span></p>
<p>At least his colleagues wouldn't see him like that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<span>Well, Jones,” Owen drawled in sarcastic appreciation, “</span><span><span>nice</span></span><span> costume, I'll almost start growing to respect you.”</span></p>
<p>Ianto hated Jack!</p>
<p>
  <span>He saw absolutely no reason whatsoever in calling the </span>
  <span>
    <em>whole</em>
  </span>
  <span> team for this alert. They would have managed with just the two of them!</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>Well, Owen,” Ianto parroted in a desert-dry, almost bored voice, “</span><span><span>my respect for </span></span><span><em><span>you</span></em></span><span><span> starts sinking like a stone</span></span><span>. Can't explain why.”</span></p>
<p>Owen instinctively bristled when Ianto raked his gaze over Owen and the, in the medic's opinion pretty smashing Indian's costume he wore.</p>
<p>“<span>I think you look lovely, Ianto,” Gwen threw in hastily with a bright, gap-toothed smile while unconsciously readjusting the neckline of her very revealing dirndl.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Yeah, mate,” Rhys agreed, groaning slightly in his thick, fur fabric bear costume. Ianto started sweating just by looking at the man. “Looks really authentic.”</span></p>
<p>“<span>'Course,” Jack threw in, pressing close to Ianto's side with his arm slung around the young man's shoulders. “It's mine.”</span></p>
<p>Gwen made a comprehending Aah-sound while Rhys frowned, puzzled.</p>
<p>“<span>But... The style looks pretty old. Surely...”</span></p>
<p>“<span>What's he doing here by the way?” Owen chopped in, exasperated and not at all in the mood to explain Jack's immortality to Gwen's fiancé. He glared from one to the other, finally lingering on Gwen with a haughty sniff. “And what's that supposed to be anyway? Slutty Oktoberfest waitress?”</span></p>
<p>Gwen bristled fiercely. “What crawled up your ass and died there, Owen?!” she screeched angrily. “You pissed off because you didn't get a leg over with whoever you dressed up for as a stupid Indian chief?!”</p>
<p>“<span>That about sums it up,” Ianto muttered softly next to her. </span></p>
<p>Gwen huffed. “Well, for your information: Rhys gave me a lift straight from the party we've been at. And look at the hair, asshole, I'm Goldilocks.” Pointedly, Gwen indicated the blond, curly wig on her head which actually didn't really suit her in everyone's opinion.</p>
<p>“<span>Oh great,” Owen groaned, and adjusted the </span><span><span>magnificent</span></span><span> Indian headdress he wore. “Another couple who abuses Halloween for their sick sex games.”</span></p>
<p>“<span>As if you wouldn't have done that sooner or later tonight, too!” Gwen snapped. “What did she go as? Your squaw?”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Sorry guys, I'm late!”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Oh Tosh, thank the Gods!” Jack</span><span><span> – who had just stood by while his team squabbled, not at all in the mood to intervene; he just wanted to get this over with so that he could get back to celebrating Halloween with Ianto in private – e</span></span><span>xclaimed in relief when Tosh suddenly turned up, and finally completed the team. “Maybe now, we can finally start looking for... oh </span><span><em>hello</em></span><span>! Tosh!” A bright grin spread over Jack's face as he took in Tosh's blue sailor suit outfit, instantly lifting his mood. “I like it.”</span></p>
<p>The Japanese woman promptly blushed, and self-consciously started tugging at her ultra short skirt.</p>
<p>“<span>I never wanted you to see me like that,” she groused softly under her breath, and glared unhappily at her colleagues who at least looked quite appreciative of her costume. Although she wasn't so sure if that made it better or worse.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Join the club,” Ianto mumbled, and crossed his arms in front of his chest, glad though to have found a comrade in suffering. </span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>The scanners led them to a nearby mall that, at this time of the night, was closed, of course. Which didn't deter Torchwood in the slightest though.</p>
<p>With rapid speed, Tosh's fingers flew over her PDA to deactivate the alarms.</p>
<p>Suddenly, she stopped with a frown.</p>
<p>“<span>The alarm's already turned off,” she reported. “Someone must be inside already.”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Alright, guys, be careful in there,” Jack said, suddenly completely serious, and he drew his weapon. “Rhys, you're staying outside.”</span></p>
<p>The Welshman nodded, and when Gwen opened her mouth to protest, Ianto distracted her by pressing a weapon and torch into her hands since no-one apart from Jack and Ianto had any weapons with them, of course (a throwing axe made of plastic that was strapped to Owen's belt didn't quite count).</p>
<p>Not arguing any further, Gwen complied, and together, the team carefully made their way into the dark mall.</p>
<p>“<span>I detect signs of life over there,” Tosh whispered, her eyes periodically glued to the scanner in her hand. She indicated a corridor to their right with her weapon clasped in her other hand. </span></p>
<p>“<span>Okay, maybe we can try to encircle it.” Jack met everybody's eyes in the shine of their torches to wait for them to indicate that they had acknowledged his orders.</span></p>
<p>“<span>If some of us go that way,” Ianto said, indicating a side-corridor while studying his own PDA, “then we should be able to surround the being.”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Great. Let's go.”</span></p>
<p>Cautiously, the team crept forward, their guns at the ready, the beams of their torches pointed to the floor so as not to startle the possibly aggressive being.</p>
<p>Before they could split up though to take the way Ianto had indicated, a noise a couple of metres right in front of them startled them.</p>
<p>A shadowy figure suddenly appeared as if from thin air, charging at the team. Although they tried to catch the creature in the beams of light, it was too quick for that. From one second to the other, the being weaselled and ducked between them in an attempt at escaping. Sudden cackling laughter mocked them, it seemed, from all sides. Managing to get behind the team which had blocked the way out of the mall, the being whipped out something, and pointed it directly at the team. Twinkling purple light shot from the device, whatever it was, and hit every single Torchwood agent dead on. The ray only touched them for a split-second since they tried to dodge the purple light almost immediately, and then, the light went out again. With a loud giggle, the creature dashed away for the main entrance.</p>
<p>“<span>Everyone alright?” Jack shouted, hastily looking over his shoulder at his team. His shoulders slumped in relief when he received various grumbled affirmatives. “Owen, check everyone through, I...”</span></p>
<p>Before Jack could finish his sentence or even attempt to sprint after their fugitive, sudden dizziness overcame him. Groaning softly, he stumbled, and only caught himself by reaching out a hand to steady himself on the wall.</p>
<p>“<span>Detecting no dangerous radiation whatsoever.” That was Tosh, but she sounded slightly faint as well.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Owen,” Jack called, and managed to make out the doctor with his elaborate headdress in the semi-darkness.</span></p>
<p>Owen viciously shook his head, and then staggered over to the others, whipping out his medical scanner. “Ehm... they seem fine. Just a bit dizzy.”</p>
<p>“<span>It's getting better already,” Ianto assured while he tried to shake off the concerned doctor. </span></p>
<p>“<span>Oh my God! Rhys!” Gwen suddenly cried, and, on unsteady legs, raced outside.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Gwen!” Furiously shaking off the last of his vertigo, Jack dashed after her, the rest of the team following more or less quickly.</span></p>
<p>Outside, they were met with the sight of a hysterically concerned Gwen fluttering around Rhys who waved her concerns away with a reassuring smile though.</p>
<p>“<span>Did you see it?” Jack asked without any preamble which earned him a nasty glare from Gwen for being so insensitive.</span></p>
<p>Rhys shook his head repeatedly, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to get rid of any lingering dizziness. So, he had been affected as well.</p>
<p>“<span>Nah, not really,” he said. “Dashed right past me. It went that way,” he pointed in the direction the creature had fled into, “but before it got away, it pointed this strange thing at me, like a laser beam. Some purple light hit me.” The Welshman frowned, then his concerned gaze flew to Gwen. “Is it dangerous? Have you been hit with it as well?”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded, then turned around to Owen. “Yeah, doctor, </span>
  <span>
    <em>is</em>
  </span>
  <span> it dangerous?”</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>How should I know?” the doctor bristled defensively. “All I can say is that you're all unharmed according to my scanner. And my dizziness is almost completely gone now.” Questioningly, he looked at his team mates who nodded the affirmative. </span></p>
<p>Unhappy with that, Jack turned to Rhys again. “You must have seen at least more than we did,” he insisted. “Tell us everything. The smallest detail can help.”</p>
<p>“<span>Oh, ehm, okay, yeah...” Rhys scratched his head under the plushy brown hood of his bear costume. “It looked like a human. Well, </span><span><em>humanoid</em></span><span>, I guess, is the correct term for you guys, right.”</span></p>
<p>Everyone ignored Owen's sarcastic comment that the boyfriend had obviously made his homework.</p>
<p>“<span>I think it was male, and I saw a flash of light blue skin and red hair in the light of the street lamps. He gnggh.”</span></p>
<p>“<span>Eh, Rhys?” Gwen asked, her eyes widening in concern.</span></p>
<p>“<span>Grrgnh,” Rhys said, then slapped his hands in front of his mouth in shock. “What's happening?!” he managed to get out with clear difficulty. Owen and Tosh were at his side in an instant to carry out measurements with their respective scanners.</span></p>
<p>Pacing around the trio nervously like a prowling lion, Gwen's patience eventually snapped. “What's wrong with him, Owen?!”</p>
<p>“<span>I'm a </span><span><span>shaman, not a psychic!</span></span><span>” the doctor snapped back in irritation.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Silence reigned for a few moments as they all stared at him while</span>
  <span>
    <span> he, oblivious, continued to carry out his check up on Rhys.</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>What did you just say?”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Perplexed, Owen paused, and looked from Jack to the others. “What? What </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>did</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> I say?”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Oh, this is bad,” Ianto sighed, exasperated.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>It's more than bad,” Jack stated grimly. “It's clearly evil magic, and we have to find this foul fiend who did this!”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Deafening silence descended over the stunned group, and Jack froze in shock before he let out a hearty, exasperated “Shit!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>And that's even worse,” Ianto deadpanned.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jack groaned. “At least now I know what's going on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hearing this, Gwen stormed up to him. “What? What's happening to Rhys?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>He's turning into a bear, Gwen. Because of his costume,” Jack snapped, bristling because once more, it was all about Rhys for her. Hadn't she listened what kind of nonsense he himself had spouted a minute ago completely against his will? </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Anyway,” he continued, still irritated. “It's some kind of gag tool. I've seen something like that before. It's not dangerous or anything,” Jack hastily assured when his colleagues stared at him sceptically. “Actually, it's supposed to be fun, and I suppose our mysterious alien couldn't have chosen a better night for this kind of prank.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>It's fun until someone wearing the wrong kind of costume gets affected by it,” Tosh admonished gravely.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Yeah,” Owen nodded. “Zombie costume for example, and SNAP! Before you can blink, some poor, unsuspecting guy is eating your brain.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>That's gross, Owen.” Gwen scrunched up her nose in disgust.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>But it </span></span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>could</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> happen!” the doctor tried to defend his point. “Look at what's happening to Rhys.”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gwen frowned. “Well... I suppose you're right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Wait a minute!” Jack suddenly exclaimed, and turned to Rhys. “You said that you saw that guy having blue skin and red hair, right, Rhys?”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rhys nodded, clearly unhappy with his situation since he could only utter some kind of whining growl by now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Please don't tell me you know that guy, Jack,” Tosh moaned as she immediately realised where Jack was going with this.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>And please don't tell me it's another psychotic ex,” Gwen added.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Hm, could be that I do, and no, he isn't my ex. We went to the Time Agency Academy together. He was the worst kind of prankster. Eventually, they kicked him out because of that. And really, I feel a lot better knowing that someone like him wasn't entrusted with missions regarding the protection of time.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>And that coming from </span></span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>you</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> of all people,” Ianto muttered absent-mindedly while fiddling with his PDA in the hopes to get some readings that would help them solve this case, “since the Time Agency didn't seem to have any higher demands in the first place if they hired you and Hart to let you two gallivant through history. I am shocked at this much lack of discipline and aspiration from a quasi military organisation.”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ianto almost dropped his PDA in complete shock when he registered with his own words after a few seconds. Wide-eyed, he met Jack's gaze; the immortal didn't know if he should be offended or amused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Yeah, go, Teaboy!” Owen cheered sarcastically. “About time you hit back at him instead of rolling over like a good little shag.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Shut it, doctor Harper,” Ianto hissed acidly.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Oh, don't worry, Owen,” Jack drawled, finally having decided on being amused since it wasn't Ianto's fault what he was compelled to say at the moment. He stepped up to Ianto to wrap an arm around the younger man's waist. “He's hitting back at me more than you think.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Tosh, can we please try to find that wanna-be Time Agent slash prankster,” Owen begged brusquely in a desperate attempt to ignore Jack's sleazy comment.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Yes, please let's,” Tosh agreed whole-heartedly, and quickly whipped out her scanner.</span></span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>I register some kind of radiation being emitted from the device,” Tosh said, staring at her scanner while she briskly marched in the direction of downtown a couple of minutes later.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack frowned at the direction they were taking. “Oh please, don't tell me we're chasing an alien right into Cardiff downtown where every fifth person will be costumed as an alien.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tosh nodded with a grim chuckle. “I'm afraid so. But I thought you know what our guy looks like?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>If it's really him,” Jack corrected her. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Well, if it's not him, our only chance is tracking down the device, but the scanners aren't all that precise.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Wonderful,” Gwen groused while Rhys made grunting noises next to her that probably were meant as agreement. “Is there really no other way to find the alien or the device? Maybe we've got some other scanner in the SUV.” </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Don't be stupid, squaw! If we had, Tosh would've gotten it already,” Owen snapped, and in the next second, stopped short and slapped his hands in front of his mouth when he realised what he'd said – he couldn't help himelf, he just </span></span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>had</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> to say that! The others stopped their brisk pace as well, and stared at their colleague, aghast.</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>I, ehm... sorry, Gwen, I really didn't mean to...”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Shit, it's spreading,” Gwen gasped without taking any notice of Owen's rude comment or his apology.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>I'm afraid we're not the only ones,” Jack mumbled, and everyone followed his gaze. Some of them jerked back in surprise when a tall yellow... thing happily bounced towards them, waving its tail excitedly, and crying “Pikachu” in a high-pitched voice.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Is that a Pokemon?” Owen asked, flabbergasted.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>The more accurate question would be, is that a human?” Tosh breathed while still staring in shock at the poor guy.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>It's both,” Jack nodded grimly. “Maybe the device hit that poor guy harder than any of us.” A giggle suddenly bubbled out of the Captain for a brief second. “It's a Pokeman.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>At least this proves that we're on the right way,” Ianto said equally as grim, and clearly not at all impressed by Jack's suddenly childish behaviour. “Come on.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>But...” Gwen swallowed heavily while staring from the Pokeman to her team mates and back again. “We can't leave him here.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>There's nothing we can do right now, Gwen,” Jack explained patiently. “The only chance we have at turning him back is finding that device.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Yeah, but... but...” The helplessness in her face vanished all of a sudden, and it made way for stubbornness. “No. I won't leave the poor guy here all on his own. He must be totally out of his mind with fear.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with that, Gwen stepped into the creature's way determinedly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man in the Pikachu costume stopped before her, cocking his head. He made a questioning “Pikachu”, but when Gwen took another step closer, starting to talk insistently to the man-creature, his yellow fur actually bristled. His flash-like tail went rigid, and his long ears set back in an aggressive fashion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Ah, ah, ah, Gwen!” Owen cried, and sprinted forward to drag her away as yellow blizzards twitched around the Pokeman. “Did nobody ever tell you not to corner a dangerous animal?”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>I just wanted...”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Keep him back!” Tosh suddenly cried, and Gwen and Owen whipped around. Rhys, a frightening expression of rage on his face, went for the Pokeman, growling and roaring like a real bear in an attempt to protect Gwen. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>No! Rhys!” She threw herself in his way, and only with a lot of gentle talking did she manage to calm the bear-man down enough to steer him away. All the while, the Pokeman eyed them wearily, still ready for an attack, but didn't move otherwise. He eventually let them pass without taking any further notice of the team.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>From now on, you will do what your superior told you to do, agent Cooper!” Ianto snapped at Gwen angrily who flinched at the Welshman's surprisingly commanding tone. Rhys, seeing Gwen being threatened yet again, growled a warning in Ianto's direction, which only caused Ianto to fix his attention onto Rhys. “And you, don't interfere in a Torchwood operation, civilian,” he hissed at Rhys who was so startled to be talked at so strictly, that he stopped short, simply blinking at Ianto in surprise. Ianto glared at the rest of the team, then spun on his heel snappily, and continued their journey.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Oh dear Manitu,” Owen sighed, “Teaboy's taking charge.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Amen to that,” Jack grinned excitedly. “It's hot.”</span></span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For now obeying Ianto, the rest of the team got moving again as well, and steadfastly ignored all the strange people and creatures they encountered which were clearly affected by the device, too. Their journey went without any further upsets, except maybe having to keep Rhys – who, until now, obediently trotted next to Gwen in equal parts clingy and protective – from trying to ransack an abandoned foot stand in the pedestrian zone. The vendor had either been affected by the device himself or had done a runner when he had encountered one monster too many.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Gwen tried to pull him away from the free food, he made whiny, grunting noises of protest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Poor guy,” Owen shook his head. “He seems to be affected the strongest.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Yeah,” Jack agreed. “The term Bear gets a whole new meaning because of him. Though, that's a bit much, even for me.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>That's not funny!” Gwen snapped while she still tried to pull her heavy-weighed boyfriend away, and, with the other hand, absent-mindedly nicked some of the food herself. “My poor Rhys gets sucked into all this alien shit, again, and you make fun of him.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Nobody asked him to come with us to the mall,” Ianto reminded sternly. “He could have just gone back to this party of yours. As a civilian, he shouldn't have been with us anyway.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Yes, thank you, Ianto, you already said that.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>And I will continue to do so unless it gets through your thick head, agent Cooper,” Ianto answered coldly, his no-nonsense tone brooking no argument.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Kids, play nice,” Jack tried to intervene. “It could be much worse.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Yeah.” Owen nodded. “It could be like in this one Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode where everyone really turned into the character of their costume without remembering who they were. We, on the other hand, just have to be a little careful not to get carried away, 's all.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The whole team froze, and looked strangely at the medic.</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>What? That chick was hot, and could kick ass!” </span><span><span>Owen bristled, embarrassed.</span></span></p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>If you wanted someone to kick ass, why didn't you say so sooner?” Jack leered, and, none too subtly, nodded in Tosh's direction. “She could be the cowboy to your Indian.” </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Owen frowned at that, contemplating the idea for a moment, but then rolled his eyes at Jack and turned away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Captain Harkness!” Ianto's sharp voice suddenly called Jack to attention. Startled, he blinked at his lover who glared at him reproachfully.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>I would appreciate if you took the whole situation a bit more serious. We're still on duty.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Bristling in wounded pride, Jack sneered at the Welshman. “This is still </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>my</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> quest and </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>my</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> fellowship, and I lead it as I see fit.”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ianto huffed. “Your behaviour is unbecoming of a man of your position.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>In an instant, Jack's prickly mood was gone again, and with a lascivious grin, he sidled up to Ianto. “Oh, Captain, I can tell you a lot about </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>positions</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span>. Better even, I could show you.”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Against his will, Ianto promptly blushed, but nonetheless shoved Jack away when the immortal pressed close. “That's harassment, Captain,” he growled, didn't seem at all as if he was so hell-bend against Jack's advances though. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>This is so getting worse,” Gwen moaned, then frowned, and stuffed the last of the food she'd taken into her mouth. “Why don't I notice any changes in me, by the way?”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pouted and almost seemed miffed that she was being left out of developing strange to outright disturbing behaviour.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>I don't notice anything either, Gwen,” Tosh shrugged. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>What's Goldilocks supposed to behave like anyway?” Owen complained. “Be glad that you're not affected. Though I suppose as soon as we encounter any danger, and you start running away screaming hysterically like a damsel in distress, you'll join our little role play club as well.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>That won't happen,” Jack declared firmly before Gwen had any chance to snap back at Owen that Goldilocks wasn't a stupid damsel in distress but could look out for herself, thank you very much. Proudly, he positioned himself next to Gwen, and drew himself up to his full height, his chest stuck out challengingly. “It's my mission to protect any lady – or prince,” he added and threw Ianto a suggestive smirk, “from danger. So, don't you worry, lady Gwen!”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In a sudden fit of jealousy, Rhys let out a disgruntled roar, and squeezed himself between Gwen and Jack. The disgruntled Welshman glared darkly at Jack who simply answered with a self-confident, smug smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>As flattering as that may be, I'd really like to get a move on, gentlemen,” Gwen mumbled, her cheeks reddening in disgruntled embarrassment despite being the centre of attention of both her favourite men for once. “I can take care of myself.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Agent Cooper is right,” Ianto suddenly agreed sternly. “We have to stop the alien before it causes any more damage.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if to prove his point, a man in a frog costume suddenly hopped past them, and a woman in a frilly pink princess dress gave him chase, making kissing noises. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ianto stared at them pointedly, then at his team mates.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Yes, all right,” Jack sighed and threw his hands up in defeat.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he started walking again at a brisk pace, he almost bowelled over Tosh when she stopped abruptly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn't notice the almost collision though since she stared at her scanner intently. Frowning, she turned the device upside down, and then cocked her head so as if she could make out more from the new angle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>What's the matter, Tosh?” Owen asked when he saw the computer genius' frown.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>We're too close to the device by now,” she explained unhappily. “The scanners can't pick up the exact location, just an approximate direction. We can either go this way or that.” She pointed in two different directions. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>We're going that way!” Jack and Ianto stated at the same time, but started heading in opposite directions. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>No, no, no!” Jack snapped at the Welshman. “I'm in charge here, handsome, and I say we go that way.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ianto sneered at Jack's flippant tone. “Go polish your sword or whatever, and instead let the professionals do their job, Prince Charming,” he replied snidely, and glared darkly at the immortal. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Oh, I don't know. Polishing my sword is much more fun together.” Once more, Jack's mood rapidly changed from one second to the other, but this time, Ianto wasn't impressed at all by the Captain. He was much too affronted for that. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>And once again,” he huffed, “your behaviour is proof that you can't take the situation seriously, and are unfit to lead this mission. Therefore, I say we go that way.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Jack, in his suddenly rematerialising righteous fury (it was tiring, really, feeling either the need to flirt for his life or the compulsion to defend his own honour), could retort anything to that, a shrill scream echoed through the night air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The team froze for a second.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>And there we have our first brain-eating zombie,” Owen moaned.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slipping right into saving-the-damsel-in-distress mode, Jack drew his Webley. Briefly bemoaning the fact that he didn't have a dashing sword, Jack sprinted in the direction the screams were coming from, his red cape billowing behind him in a heroic fashion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Captain!” Ianto bellowed after the departing man. “We have a mission. We can't derogate from that now!”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Someone's in distress,” Jack shouted back over his shoulder. </span></span>
  <span>
    <span>
      <span>“</span>
    </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>That</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span>'s my mission!”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a couple of moments, the rest of the team remained behind, stunned. But then, they looked at each other, shrugged, and ran after Jack.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grumbling indignantly about defiance of orders and desertion, Ianto eventually followed his team mates as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They arrived just in time to see three Weevils climb out of the sewers, and corner a frightened young couple. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Hey!” Jack shouted in a threatening boom. The Weevils actually reacted to the immortal's voice, and cocked their heads in his direction, growling at him threateningly. The couple perked up with a hopeful look at the Torchwood team.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>How dare you threaten two lovers so cruelly!” Tosh cried before Jack could continue with his speech of righteous indignation. In grim determination, she gesticulated her arms. “I am Sailor Mercury, the Pretty Guardian of love and intelligence, who has come to punish you. MERCURY AQUA STORM!”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To everyone's astonished shock, a huge, strong jet of water shot from Tosh's hands, flushing the three growling Weevils right back into the open manhole of the sewers in the blink of an eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Huh,” Owen said into the ensuing flabbergasted silence</span></span>
  <span>
    <b>
      <span>,</span>
    </b>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> wide eyes turned onto Tosh. “What </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>exactly</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> is your costume supposed to be again, Tosh?” He cocked his head. “I thought you're just a crazy school girl.”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grumbling, Tosh blushed furiously. “I'm Sailor Mercury,” she grumbled. “I'm coming right from a manga party.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Why didn't you say so before?”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Because I didn't need stupid comments from my colleagues that I'm a walking cliché by liking manga since I'm Japanese,” she replied a little tacky.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Owen shrugged, and actually smiled at Tosh. “Why? I think it's cool. I on the other hand like cowboys and Indians. I don't see the difference there. It just means that you re-enact a happy part of your childhood.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes widening in astonishment, Tosh blinked. “Oh,” she breathed. “Thanks, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A teasing smirk twitched around Owen's mouth. “With the little difference that my happy childhood re-enactment didn't give me superpowers like you have now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tosh couldn't help herself, and blushed in happiness at Owen actually being nice and a decent human being for once. And that to her of all people.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>He's right, Tosh,” Jack chimed in, and, grinning excitedly, threw an arm around Tosh's shoulders. “What you just did was amazing and totally hot. You can punish me any time you like with that superhero attitude.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He waggled his eyebrows at her which made her laugh about his silliness rather than blush.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>When this is over,” Ianto groaned in the background, “I'll have to have this conversation about sexual harassment at work with him again.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then, he suddenly clapped his hands. “Alright, team. You've saved any damsels in distress around here, maybe now we can get back to our actual mission?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>What Ianto actually meant was, could they now please do as </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>he</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> told them again since he was the much more qualified operative here to lead this mission, thank you very much.</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Much to his surprise, the team complied, with Rhys actually growling and groaning in heart-felt applause to finally getting a move on; he was totally fed up with his situation, he just wanted to have some fun tonight and a couple of beer. Bloody Torchwood. Even Jack followed Ianto now in the opposite direction without any further complains now that he had done his heroic deeds for the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>See that,” Ianto suddenly groused when a rather disgruntled looking Indiana Jones cracking his whip while being hot on a harrassed looking Princess Leia's tail passed them. “That could have been me. I would have had a gun </span></span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>and</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> a whip. That's so much cooler.”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack broke out into a lewd grin which had nothing to do with the device compelling him to act like that at all this time (it was a fine line for him anyway, being charming naturally and feeling compelled to be charming), and sidled up to their current leader, happy that, for the time being, Ianto had obviously abandoned that side of his schizophrenic behaviour tonight that was constantly critisising Jack's leading skills. He liked Ianto being dominant, but what had transpired between them in the last couple of hours had been anything but fun. “When we're back at mine, I'll give you all the whips to play with that you want. I have quite the collection.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ianto threw him an amused side-glance. “Don't I know. But I have to say, being Indy – or Bond – would have been costumes I'd have liked to see you wear as well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack winked at him. “Next time, deal?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Smirking at Jack and nodding, Ianto – and Jack anyway – ignored Owen's moaning in the background which was a mix of whining that he really didn't have to know more about their perverted role-play sex life, ta, and some gibberish about calling on Manitu to give him strength.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Jack?”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Hm?”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack turned to Tosh, unable to hold himself back from taking in her alluring costume once more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Can't you use your vortex manipulator to track down a non-human life form?”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack frowned at that, slightly startled and even a tad disgusted, then looked at the leather strap around his wrist so as if he saw it for the first time. “A real prince depends on his instincts and his cleverness.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sniffing haughtily, he turned away from Tosh again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Well okay, then we'll be out here the whole night,” Ianto automatically threw in, his voice heavy with sarcasm. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack's gaze zoomed in on the Welshman, a pout tugging at his lips, but he was mollified somewhat when he saw Ianto actually cringe about his comment for a change tonight, and the young man mouthed an apologetic “I'll make it up to you later,” in Jack's direction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nodding curtly and not holding it against Ianto – turning into a nagging, bossy little bastard, well, more than usual, wasn't by far the strangest thing the device and their costumes had brought out in the team tonight –, Jack shook his head. A moment of clarity returned, and he actually remembered who he actually was. Of course he had to use his vortex manipulator, what a question. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing, he flapped open the leather strap determinedly. They really had to undo the effects of the device. Acting up a bit in their costumes was fun, but starting to lose themselves in their respective characters would be anything but good. Time to end this.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A couple of minutes later, Jack's vortex manipulator had led the team to a lively night club, the exterior decorated with such an amount of Halloween gadgets and deco as if a decorative article shop had vomited all over the club so that they rather not wanted to know what the interior looked like – not that they had a choice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After briefly explaining to his team what he remembered about his former class mate – if it even was him –, that they had to be careful since he was a cunning, sometimes nasty, and even dangerous son of a bitch (no wonder he'd gotten along so fabulously with John Hart), Jack prepared to lead them inside the club with flying colours. He was stopped by a firm hand on his chest. Normally, he liked where this particular hand was currently very much, but one look into Ianto's stubborn, determined face told the dashing prince that he'd once more have to battle the grumpy Welsh soldier for his position as leader of this quest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Not so fast, Prince Charming,” Ianto snapped icily, the name dripping from his lips mockingly, “this could become a potentially dangerous situation, and you just want to storm in there without a plan? I think not. What we need right now is stealth and tactics, not a would-be prince in too tight leggins storming into an unknown situation, hoping his charms will solve the problem. Tell me, what exactly qualifies you, apart from your looks, to lead this last part of the mission?”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instinctively, Jack wanted to make a flirty comment about the too tight leggins, but he held back at the last moment. Drawing himself up to his full height, he advanced on the glaring Welshman so that Ianto had to crane up his neck a bit to look up to Jack. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>I've been a Time Agent,” Jack declared, confident and proud. Smirking, he looked down his nose at the wannabe RAF Captain. “It's been my job to deal with matters concerning time and space, and an alien running around making mischief in my city definitely fits the bill.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Much to his chagrined surprise, Ianto only snorted, not an ounce of impressed respect on his features.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Time Agent,” he huffed, “you rather mean Rift Hopper. I on the other hand am much more qualified than you since I, apart from Tosh, am the only one here thinking subjectively and logically. Whereas you,” and here, he poked Jack in the chest none too gently, “just act uncoordinated, and follow your instincts. As a soldier, I won't stand for that.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Teasingly, Jack squinted at Ianto in challenge. “Are you considering mutinity, Captain Jones?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Since you're the insubordinate one and not me, that's hardly possible. I'm considering a firing squad for a certain someone though,” Ianto shot back, and haughtily raised his chin. “I'll do everything for the mission.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Ohhh, I like it,” Jack crooned, “the insubordination thing, not the firing squad, mind ya.” And suddenly, he leaned in to press a firm kiss onto Ianto's mouth, quickly deepening the kiss to shut the younger man up effectively.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And indeed, when he let Ianto go, the Welshman looked a little dazed. Jack grinned in smug victory.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Well, ehm...” Ianto stammered, and then had to clear his throat. “Maybe this time, I can stand back. Your team, Harkness.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His smug grin widening, Jack mock-saluted, then turned back to the entrance of the club. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grip tightening around his Webley, and once again bemoaning the fact that he hadn't a real, cool sword fitting for his princely outfit, Jack led his team into the loud club.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They really had to end this now. He wanted Ianto back grouching about Jack's eating habits or not doing his paper work. His lover critisising his leading skills so persistingly and rather snidely had stopped being fun a while ago.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite every single person in this room being costumed, Jack immediately recognised him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His suspicions were now definitely confirmed; they were dealing with his former class mate, Ronin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marvellous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But that, at least, may turn out to be to their advantage since, much like with John, Jack had always been the only one being able to effectively control the red-head (at least those times when he and John hadn't been an active part in making mischief).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Steering directly over to the bar where Ronin was lounging, the team kettled him in on an inconspicuous hand sign from Jack. Stepping up close to the alien, Jack suddenly pressed against him, and threw an arm around his shoulders in mock amicability.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Long time no see, Ronin,” he greeted his old friend sarcastically.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The alien flinched, and a “You must mistake me for someone else” got stuck in his throat when he, one, heard his name, two, recognised the voice, and three, definitely recognised that damned scent that had made every single bloody Time Agent – students and instructors alike – swoon back then.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Plastering a false, bright grin onto his roguish features, he turned his head to meet Jack's frowning gaze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Heeey!” he exclaimed, and suddenly, the grin turned a little sheepish. “So, it </span></span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>was</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> you I've seen earlier tonight. Wasn't sure.”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Yeah, maybe because you've been too busy making mischief again,” Jack countered promptly, cocking an eyebrow pointedly.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Jav...”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Jack!” Jack hastily corrected, and glared at Ronin who shrugged.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Whatever, admit it, you love me being naughty,” the alien grinned, ignoring the exasperated groans, “Oh God, another John Hart!” from the humans that seemed to be in Jack's company who still glared sternly at him. Ronin waved his hand dismissively at Jack's obvious discontent, and wanted to reach for his drink with the other only to encounter thin air. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Confused, he looked around only to see an ample blond woman absent-mindedly nicking his glass, and emptying it in one go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Hey!” he pouted. “That's my drink!”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gwen froze in the midst of lowering the glass again, blinking at the alien in confusion, then at the empty glass in her hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>It's not her fault,” Ianto bit out through gritted teeth. “Her costume forces her to do it. So, it's your own fault since the whole costume thing is on your head.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Ianto's right,” Jack agreed, and threateningly tightened his grip around Ronin's shoulders.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Against his will, a sheepish grin materialised on the blue-skinned alien's face again. “Oh, really? I don't know what you mean.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rolling his eyes, Jack, being absolutely not in the mood for Ronin's childish games, started frisking him for the device. Adamantly, he ignored the suggestive noises and comments Ronin made as well as the slight wriggle the alien's body made as he arched into Jack's touch. Jack was much too busy to hold back a flirty comment himself his costume compelled him to make, knowing full well that a jealously glowering Ianto Jones was standing behind him. With a weapon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He actually sighed in relief when he'd found the device, and plonked it down onto the bar counter in front of them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Ooohh, that. Totally forgot I had that,” Ronin chirped innocently, and batted his lashes at Jack playfully.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Reverse it,” Jack said sternly, and glared at Ronin. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a couple of long moments, the two ex-Time Agents held a staring contest between them, but eventually, Ronin sighed, and lowered his gaze,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Oh fine, you party-poopers,” he moaned, disappointed.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Great. Come on.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With grim satisfaction, Jack shoved the device over to Tosh, and firmly grasped the back of Ronin's coat, relentlessly dragging the alien outside so that he could explain to Tosh in all detail how to undo the damage he had done.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Meekly, the alien did just that, without even putting up any childish resistance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Not even ten minutes later, the gag tool's effects were revoked – fortunately, it had an all-reset-function; imagine the fun if they would have been forced to track down all the people Ronin had affected with the device in a fit of childish glee, having to revoke the effects manually with every single victim.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They felt it almost immediately; the sometimes very strong urge to do or say something completely uncharacteristic for them (or at least partially uncharacteristic) vanished as suddenly as it had sprung up; Rhys being able to talk like a human being again being the clearest proof that they were back to normal (instead, Gwen had to hold back her fiancée from punching the alien for the humiliation he'd had to endure tonight). A collective sigh of relief could be heard from Torchwood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>And now, get lost,” Jack turned to Ronin, and pointedly raised his wrist with his vortex manipulator attached to it. “I'll know when you don't.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glowering for a moment like a stroppy toddler, Ronin eventually sighed in exasperation and nodded. “You're no fun anymore,” he grumbled. “Maybe I should go find... what's he calling himself these days?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Captain John Hart,” Jack answered darkly. “And no, please don't. The universe will probably collapse if you two should get back together.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ronin grinned charmingly. “Probably.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Go!”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Alright, alright, I'm going.” Pouting, Ronin swiftly activated his own vortex manipulator which, to Jack's immense satisfaction, was smaller than his, too, and in a golden, swirling cloud of Rift energy, the ex-Time Agent was gone.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Torchwood team remained outside the club, for a moment simply enjoying the (relative) peace and quiet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Shall we go back inside?” Rhys suddenly asked, and all eyes turned onto him. </span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>I'm sick of Halloween, but yeah, I need a drink more,” Owen agreed, eyeing the colourful Halloween décor of the club's exterior with a disgusted sneer.</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Since the rest of the team needed a drink just as badly, and since they all refused to let their night be spoiled completely, they went back inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With everyone having a strong drink in front of them, Jack summed up the course of the evening, and, since he was already at it, dispensed the different clean-up tasks to his team they would have to implement later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That done, he finally could relax a bit and enjoy his drink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>If I think about it now, the night wasn't so bad,” he mused. “Not what I had in mind, but not bad.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The deafening silence that he encountered from his team compelled him to look at them. He met their incredulous stares.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>What? Why don't you all admit that we had fun!”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That finally elicited a collective groan from the team, and a chorused “Shut up, Jack!” was thrown in the Captain's direction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Letting out a huff, Jack pouted and instead tried his luck with just Ianto. He threw his arm around his young lover's shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>At least </span></span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>you</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span> have to agree with me, Ianto,” he whined. “As much as I would have loved a Naked-hide-and-Seek Halloween edition – which we can still attempt later if you like, by the way –, this was so much more fun. Role play got a completely new meaning tonight. And nobody was hurt, after all. On the contrary; Tosh's superpowers came in incredibly handy with the Weevils.”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he had to be honest, Ianto wasn't exactly as enthusiastic about the whole affair as Jack, even if the immortal was right about the Weevil thing. He grunted sarcastically which he tried to drown in his drink. “At least none of us wore a costume that would have caused an irreparable loss of dignity.”</span>
</p>
<p>“<span>Like?” Jack grinned, and pressed close to Ianto from behind, hands on the younger man's hips unashamedly.</span></p>
<p>Ianto was so glad that this night was over without any severe casualties that he didn't even squirm out of Jack's grip at this open display of affection slash feeling up your employee in public.</p>
<p>“<span>Oh, I don't know, Sir,” he drawled mockingly, and drew in a deep breath to deliver some clever suggestions.</span></p>
<p>Owen beat him to it though. “Jack could have dressed up as a drag queen and started singing,” he stated, snorting with laughter.</p>
<p>“<span>I look fabulous in a dress, I tell you,” Jack snapped back loftily, and almost childishly stuck out his tongue at the medic. </span></p>
<p>“<span>And his singing isn't all that bad either,” Ianto contributed helpfully before taking a deep gulp of his drink. </span></p>
<p>Owen made an overly theatrical gagging noise. “Too much information, Teaboy, way too much information.”</p>
<p>“<span>Your loss.” Ianto shrugged, unfazed, and, while nursing his drink, eventually even pressed back against Jack's hot, hard body caging him against the bar. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>Delighted, Jack couldn't help but rock his hips against Ianto's behind, even surprisingly discrete for a change. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Careful,” Ianto murmured with a chuckle. “That's assault on an officer of her Majesty's service.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>I'm a prince,” Jack countered promptly, crooning into Ianto's ear. “I'm entitled to such liberties, but if you insist on demanding reparations, Sir, I'm open for negotiations.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Pressing back against Jack's front even firmer, Ianto smirked. “You're open for even more, </span>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span>Sir</span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <span>, I imagine.”</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Oh please! Please! Take a room already!”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surprisingly, that hadn't come from Owen but from Gwen this time, not that it mattered any to the two madly flirting men.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>What a splendid idea,” Jack exclaimed with a wicked grin, and grasped Ianto's wrist. “You wanted to make it up to me anyway. And since you really, really wounded me and my professional pride, you have a lot of making up to do. So, chop, chop, Captain Jones.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wordlessly, but with a smug smile curling the corners of his mouth that made him look like the cat that got the cream, Ianto let himself be dragged out of the club by his eager boss. He was glad that Jack didn't hold his rather deplorable, even if alien-induced behaviour against him, which was why he was nonetheless very eager to do everything Jack wished to get back in the Captain's good graces (wouldn't be all that hard... well, yes, it would; it wouldn't be difficult though. And he was spending way too much time with Jack, he realised at that innuendo-laden moment).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<span>Happy Halloween, kids. See ya tomorrow. But not too early! We'll be quite busy until early morning, and I need my beauty sleep afterwards.”</span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And with a last wave and a saucy wink back at the team, Jack dragged Ianto out into the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <b>
      <span>End</span>
    </b>
  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For those of you who don't know the Goldilocks story all that well (I had to look up the specifics, too), as I understood it, she's actually somewhat of a negative character since she breaks into the bears' house, eats their food, and destroys their chairs. Therefore, to show that Gwen/Goldilocks has no respect for other people's possessions, I let her steal Ronin's drink and the fast food. I couldn't think of anything else to show how Gwen's costume influenced her that would have fit into the line of the plot. And although I don't like Gwen, I didn't want to be too harsh on her here, having the others accuse her of having no respect for other people (even if it's sometimes true) or their possessions (ok, can't help here but think of the very first scene we meet her on the show, stealing someone else's coffee with an insolent comment accompanying it; sorry, for me, that somehow sums up her whole character in under less than a minute after the viewers have met her).</p></blockquote></div></div>
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